As you can imagine, St. Patrick’s Day in the Northeast is front page news. The Mini’s were both very insistent that everyone wear green today. Minimike has been asking daily for the last two weeks whether or not it was St. Patrick’s Day. I don’t know what they learn in school about St. Patrick’s Day, but I do know what they have learned from me about pinching.
What they know about pinching comes from Mommy’s Sunday Instructions, which is to keep still during church. I told them that from the time I was very small until the present day if Lola caught me misbehaving in any way or falling asleep she would pinch my arm. She has this ability to take the tiniest piece of flesh between her thumb and forefinger and exact such excruciating pain like you have never known in your whole life.
You can’t cry or leap out of your seat screaming for fear of a second pinch.
And it leaves no mark. At all.
You can’t get out of the way quick enough because her movement is barely perceptible. It’s awful. And I promised the Mini’s I would never resort to Lola’s Pinch if they would please behave the way they are supposed to.
So when Minime told Minimike she didn’t want her classmates to pinch her on St. Patrick’s Day, Minimike whispered fearfully, “A ‘Lola Pinch?'”